What do I know?
Perhaps nothing,
the life that I had planned,
didn’t come true,
the reworked plans also suffer from uncertainty,
the past dreams buried or replaced.
Sometimes I think of my life and see order in it,
logical steps which have brought me to this point in time,
but when I actually look back at the moments that have defined me,
I see the disorder, the luck, the absurd,
not order but the randomness of life that sticks out,
the random chance encounters,
pursuing those random intuitions,
the passing thoughts on which I lingered,
each decision opening new routes in life, closing others,
it may seem as if I walked down a straight and narrow path,
but in reality,
it’s me, jumping on floating tiles that are scattered over an abyss,
at random,
and from one tile to the next,
each different shapes and sizes,
I jump,
not knowing where it leads me,
trusting a random feeling,
for it feels like the right thing to do.
Perhaps then I do know something,
perhaps I know to trust myself,
to trust my thoughts and feelings,
and commit to the randomness which life offers me,
and maybe one day it’ll all be orderly,
for now, it is the random that I seek.
Learned Living 