Poem: There was one

Each day you see them pass by,

the crowd, the people, the beings, the strangers,

not a single thought is spent on those you share the bus or train rides with, those who you see stuck in traffic with you, those you walk beside on the concrete sidewalks,

all just strangers, when you look from the outside,

thinking of how dull and uninteresting the fellow man is,

how common the common man is,

puppets, shells, heartless, soulless,

such judgments,

judging those who you don’t know.

 

Reality is far different,

the only reason you put such harsh judgment on others is so you can feel special,

so you can point the finger at them, the others, those who you believe to be dying slow deaths and breath a sigh of relief,

but that’s just a coping mechanism, coping with the disregard that life has as you come to terms that your no different from them, understanding that they all are battling something and not just you,

you think you’re the only one living? your the only one trying to fight? you’re the only one holding on for dear life? you’re the only one struggling? you’re the only one with hopes for a better future?

 

You’re easily fooled,

taken in by the pasted-on smiles,

the practiced eyes,

the calm breathing,

the pleasant speech,

manipulated,

you don’t hear the mute screams of desperation in your fellow man.

 

I do.

 

I knew one who gave up his love, moving to a strange land, yearning at night for what he left behind,

There was one who had no choice, ever, everything decided for them, shackled life, shackled existence, trying to smile,

There was one with three children, working all night, working, supporting, still making lunches, would you recognize her on the bus sitting beside you?

There was one who drank too much, trying to forget, trying to erase the pain, wearing brand new shoes, shaking your hand firmly,

There was one who worked all day, a demon in his mind, reminding him of his failures, telling him he isn’t worth it, grinding to quiet that voice down, headphone turned up, foot nervously tapping the dirty train floor, knowing that the second the music stops, that voice will begin,

There was one who stayed up all night thinking of the unborn child that was on the way, a child himself, wrestling with his fingers inside his pockets, you glance by him without notice,

There was one who found his path in life yet the poor habits are hard to break which makes him tragic for he knows his path and still is lost,

There was one who walked down a made path and is still sitting beside the lost one,

There was one who dreamed, dreamed, dreamed aging with time, that dream keeping the dwindling flame alive inside of him, one more day it echoes,

There was one who smiled at the strangers, wishing he could talk to his dad one last time,

There was one who had everything given to him and yet his heart was filled with resentment, his head filled with the voice of privilege, his actions stained with the label of ease,

There was one who was always moving, traveling, one place to the next, for now beside you, tomorrow on the other side of the world, seeking, seeking, seeking, himself,

There was one who worked to please his love,

There was one who wanted to repay his love,

There was one who wished to be loved,

There was one who was tired of love,

There was one trapped in love,

There was one on the verge of suicide, you see him?

There was one who you no longer saw,

There was one who walked through life wanted a purpose, watching the time go, thinking that he’s a failure, he stands up for the pregnant lady, what a gentleman, gently dying without anyone noticing,

There was one who was enamored by the new, hoping the new watch, new shoes, new glasses, new posture, a new smile would get complimented and for that moment he’d know he’s alive, he mattered, he’s real,

There was one filled with hate and negativity, disgusted by his circumstances, your fault, your fault, theres, others, the echoes sinking him deeper into his negative life, you brushed by him, did it get on you? That evil, that hate for man?

There was one who stared in the mirror each morning hating the reflection, poking at the flaws, wishing for change, checking the phone for what he should be,

There was one starving, hoping it’d be worth it,

There was one who read all day and didn’t live, experiencing nothing, even now the nose in the book while life goes by, are you much different?

There was one who had to force himself to be happy, to be uncomfortable, to grow, to get out and is filled with pride, can you spot him? But tomorrow he’ll have to fight again, that resistance never dies, he knows it, you can see it on his face, can you see him now?

There was one praying for it all to work out, telling himself it’ll be okay, one day, trying to control his breathing,

There was one who joked all day, his laughter rises above the crowd but his thoughts would make you cry,

There was one who hoped to be useful, to be acknowledged, to be considered good,

There was one stuck in a cycle, mistake after mistake,

There was one who was progressing slowly but didn’t know when it’ll be all worth it, the struggle, the grind, trying to stay composed, trying to remember the mantra to keep him grounded,

There was one who couldn’t do anything without first swallowing a handful of pills,

There was one who tried to forget the abuse but each sound, each movement, each touch reminded them of it,

There was one who thought of the good old days, stuck in the memories of happiness, can you blame them as you move your feet to let them walk by,

There was one who was hopeless, everything touched by them tuned to failure, yet, they smiled, one step, two-step, three-step, keep going, keep going,

There was one who lived for the two night of the week, the rest of their life wasn’t their own,

There was one who saw their passion all around them, heard the music, felt the art, craved the brush, the guitar string, the pen, and yet those fingers punched keys over and over and over just like the way you see them unconsciously moving with the rhythm of the tram,

There was one getting over heartbreak, holding the tears in,

There was one getting over a past humiliation, holding the tears in,

There was one getting over the disappointment of their life, no more tears left,

There was one breathing and living for their children the same ones who never called,

There was one breathing and living for their parents, waiting to call when they make it in life, when will that be? They think, the hourglass empties, how much longer before they can declare their appreciation?

There was one dreading the past,

There was one dreading the present,

There was one dreading the future,

There was one who didn’t know where the next meal will come from but looking at them you could never tell for the pride put on a face which yells that they are fine and happy,

There was one whose ego made them pass judgment one everyone they saw, deep down thinking what everyone said about them, not realizing that all these people are too busy trying to deal with their own selves, that one is you.

 

Everywhere are people like this,

battling internally,

quiet types, lonely types,

trying to stay afloat,

as the cesspool of life which is filled with disappointment, negativity, hate, pain, failures, crushed dreams, rises, not quick enough to kill right away, that’d be too easy, but rather, slowly, inch by inch, neck high, letting you know the inevitable and with this understanding, they carry on,

the common, the dull, the uninteresting, as you think them to be,

they carry on,

brothers and sisters,

mothers and fathers,

loyal friends who all share life,

at the heart, united,

at the soul, one,

with patience, tolerance, and love,

the neighbor must be approached,

for they are just like you,

trying to figure out this life which ends in an instance,

that one second we breath,

make it a good one,

ease the burden of another,

don’t add to it,

don’t be blind and deaf to it,

don’t be selfish,

don’t let the ego fool you,

you’re not special,

but you can still do special things for your fellow human being.

 

 

 

 

 

Poem: How do you stay so still?

How we all try and understand you,

The greatest of minds man has to offer, are

At your feet,

How does your ego not inflate?

How have you stayed the same all these years?

The wisdom of philosophers,

Digging deep in you, trying

To see what you are,

The tools of the scientists,

Prodding, measuring, stealing bits

And pieces of you,

Trying to see what you’re made of,

The religious folk claim you,

Pray to you, want from you, take from you,

Yet you stay still?

Is that what Buddha understood?

How is it that all these wise men and women are deaf and blind?

Before we shackle the children,

They know and understand you,

Even in chains, your

Teachings slip through their laughter and wonderment,

Sweet life,

Sweet nature,

Sweet Gaia,

How do you stay so still when all over your robbed of your innocence?

Poem: Only you & you

That which you see in the mirror is all you have,

It’ll make you or break you,

Not them but that reflection,

What you desire, it

Can provide,

Your failures, it

Can cause,

It can give rise to your delusions, but

Also fans the fire within you,

It knows you better than any one ever will,

The smallest of insecurities,

Largest of hopes,

All within that mirror,

But until the crack are mended,

The distorted figure takes you down a distorted path,

To fix it,

Fix yourself,

To fix yourself,

You must see yourself for what you are,

To see that,

You must see it,

Staring at you,

The same eyes,

Looking into your soul,

That which needs fixing,

It can help you,

As you help it,

Only you can fix you,

As you fix it,

Only you and you.

Poem: Father

I walk upon the desolation road,

The only road that was left for me,

I didn’t get to choose,

A choiceless existence for choices are made for me,

Each choice made narrows the roads,

Each choice lessens the possibilities,

Choices of my father,

Choices of my ma,

Choices of my wife,

And the choice to have my children choose,

All leave me with the desolation road,

I walk upon it in silence, in chains,

I walk upon it with heavy steps, pained feet,

But as long as they,

My love

My heart

My soul

Can choose to their hearts content,

Then,

I walk upon desolation road, smiling.

Poem: “Is there an exact moment you can recall?”

“Is there an exact moment you can recall?”

That one encounter,

That one book,

That one thought,

“Which one shifted your mind?”

That one touch,

That one feeling,

That one question,

“Which made you doubt all that you know?”

That one hope,

That one desire,

That one dream

“For which you’d give up all other ones?”

“This one is full of struggle”

“This one is full of obstacles”

“This one is full of hardships”

Said in hushed whispers.

“I know”

Said with acknowledgement

“I know”

Said with acceptance

“I know”

Said with pride

“When did it all change?”

Anima asked.

“When I saw death”

He replied.

Poem: What are you thinking about?

Animal superior to man,

It lives, breathes, exists in the present,

Its gift: the lack of thought,

Mans curse: the abundance of it,

Amplifying the sensations of life,

Casting doubt about the future,

Lingering on the unsaid words,

Fearing the next second,

The present trickles away like sand in an hourglass,

Anticipating the next grain,

The next trouble, the next pain.

Basic, the needs are,

Basically fulfilled,

Basic pleasure can be,

But we basically only care about the suffering.

Suffering is illuminating,

The pain demands are attention,

Without it, we float down stream,

Bathing in pleasure,

Unaware.

“Everything good?”

“Yes”

(Except for the pain in the back)

The pain that draws our thoughts,

Everywhere is laughter,

Except in our mind.

(Thoughts only for the pain)

For only that keeps us alive.

Thinking of what you want,

What you desire, thinking

Up all the obstacles, all

That’ll cast misery upon you,

Thinking, thinking, thinking,

As the lion rests,

Thinking, thinking, thinking,

As time winds down,

Thinking of death,

As the lion eats,

Thinking, thinking, thinking,

As life ends.

From nothing rises the world, created by thoughts

From nothing rises the troubles, created by thoughts

From nothing rises the struggle, created by thoughts.

“What Are you thinking about?”

Our love

(I thought).

Poem: Trying To Find That Me

There are three of me,

one is who I am,

the other is who I want to be,

and the third is what you think I am,

all three never aligned.

 

One of me is chained to the past,

constantly trying to break free,

the shadow is heavy,

unrelenting,

always following, always reminding, always showing,

what I’m trying to overcome.

 

The other me is strapped to a conveyor belt,

shaped and molded by foreign hands,

but it’s the loving touch that hurts the most,

that conforms the most,

for to disappoint love is hellish,

rather disappoint the other me.

 

That me who is free,

who wanders through the dimly lit path,

traversing the unkept road,

content,

self-content,

(om)

broken chains, disfigured parts,

(om)

peace at heart, peace with love,

(om).

 

Who I am

wanders around

trying to find

that

me.