Every day its a fight. The struggle against someone. The competitive nature of life. The fight doesn’t exist outside. That someone is you. The competition is with you and the resistance inside of you.
We all go through it. It comes in form of laziness, procrastination, absentmindedness, daydreams, cravings, desires, easiness…the devil has many disguises.
The resistance knows all your thoughts. All your promises. All your plans. Your hopes, ambitions, dreams, it knows you as well as you know yourself or perhaps even better. It is there to do what you wish not to do. Resistance is there to tell you that you can take today off. Just relax for the next hour. Press the snooze button. You can do it tomorrow. It’s not a big deal. It makes the justifications for you and the tough thing is, its damn convincing. Resistance puts forth such a good argument that you wish to give in.
It is a fight because resistance does not care about taking the day. It wants to take the next five-ten minutes from you because it knows that will roll over to thirty minutes to an hour and then even more. It’s deadly because you might think “whats 5 minutes going to do?”.
I give in. It happens every now and then. Sometimes more often than I like to admit. Sometimes I wonder if the good days are just illusions so when the resistance comes, I give in easier because I can look back and think “well I had two or three good days, what’s one bad one?” Right when that thought crosses your mind you know you are in battle.
The truth of the matter is that each day you fight. Every day you have to hone your discipline, your focus, your work ethic for if these are blunted then you cannot do anything against resistance. If you are not dedicated and devoted then the resistance will toy with you and make you bend. And even the days that you fight and win, that win is temporary for you know the very next day it will be back, the fight, and it will never get easier.
At least for me it never has. Each day a struggle to keep on the path. The internal struggle that no one sees. Everyone views you from the outside, everyone has a different perception of you and none knows the internal you. The only thing that knows that is the resistance.
It may come off dramatic, talking about it in such grand terms but that is the truth. The constant tug and pull between my needs and desires. What I should do and what is easy. Every day it is the same. That’s my weakness I suppose.
So, what to do?
Unmitigated disciple in all things. That sounds nice. It is a difficult thing to do but that does not mean it is impossible. That is the aim, however, in each and everything, discipline.